Oven baked sturgeon with potatoes. Sturgeon in the oven

Then the question is, how to become an interesting conversationalist most likely appeared in your head more than once. We offer a brief analysis of this topic.

Almost everyone has the ability to chat, but the ability to be a good listener is not given to everyone. It is believed that listening is a great art. After all, listening without interrupting the interlocutor, and then starting some kind of speech, is not an easy task.

With such people you want to communicate over and over again, share your thoughts and, in general, have a good time.

Undoubtedly, you have heard such phrases of surprised men: "I listened to her in silence for two hours, and she said that I am the most interesting interlocutor of those whom she met." Think about it.

Two types of interlocutors

1. Chatterboxes. Obsessive talkativeness incessantly will not lead to the desired effect or positive impression on your interlocutor. There is not a single person who would only agree to listen. People need to tell their own stories. And given the fact that talkers never change roles, and always strive to be in the spotlight, they are naturally disliked. Such comrades will never become interesting interlocutors.
2. Silent people. Silence when someone speaks is, of course, a noble occupation. But excessive silence and a rare nod of the head, instead of an active and interesting dialogue, is not at all considered an ability to listen! There is also no way to achieve the desired effect from this position. It is unlikely that they will want to re-communicate with you if you are silent all the time. In various articles on personal growth, you can find such a thing as "Active listening". So you need to understand that it is precisely "active", and not squeezed-sullen.

By the way, you can check out the most famous ones.

How to be an interesting conversationalist?

The first step is to make a decision about who you want to be in society. You can take an example from a person with whom it is pleasant to communicate in reality. Copy his facial expressions, gestures and some phrases that you like. You also need to change your behavior: if you really change, then only for the better.

An interesting fact is that we, in fact, always copy someone. It is no coincidence that one wise man said: “ Everyone comes to this world as originals, and leaves as copies.". From childhood, we imitate and imitate the people around us. So isn't it better to use this natural mechanism deliberately?

Active listening

It is necessary to conduct dialogue by looking into the eyes. Foreign objects, such as a phone or other gadgets, distract attention and leave a bad impression of you as an interlocutor.

It is necessary to create an atmosphere in which the interlocutor will feel interested in his story. It will not be superfluous to use a small number of words during the story to convince the interlocutor that he is being listened to.

Ask clarifying questions, but without going into unnecessary details. It is important not to overdo it, so that active listening did not turn into an interruption.

After the story, it is worth keeping a certain pause, no more than three seconds long. This is so that the narrator can add a few more words. Then there will be no awkward situations.

An important factor that must always be considered is to monitor your actions. While the interlocutor is telling another story, a thought may arise in my head: what to talk about next.

To avoid such situations, carefully and actively listen to the story of the interlocutor, and then you will not have to come up with a topic for conversation, since you can organically cling to a fragment from the story and talk about it for a long time.

And most importantly, you need to think before you say something.

It is also pertinent to emphasize that you should never belittle or belittle the dignity of a story or an incident in life that is narrated by your counterpart. An interesting interlocutor will never say the phrase: "That, that's nothing, but I had a case ...".

I must say that respect is not manifested in any specific actions or gestures. It is felt on a subconscious level.

Talk about him

Surely you are familiar with an interesting aphorism: “ Start talking to the person about him and he will listen to you for hours.". Pay attention to this extraordinary moment.

We are all selfish by nature. Most people eagerly listen to the storyteller only to then begin their own story. If you want to be known as a good interlocutor, actively listen and highlight the merits of your comrade more.

Anyone can be an interesting conversationalist

So, in order to become an interesting interlocutor, always try to mentally respect the speaker and carefully, actively listen to him. Perhaps, this is the great skill that distinguishes worthy people from idle talkers or, on the contrary, notorious silent talkers.

It's called How to Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

If you like, subscribe to be smart and always keep your brain in good shape! Here you will find not only interesting facts about everything in the world, but also various articles on the topic of motivation and personal growth.

There are plenty of general advice on this topic. So general that each point needs instructions. For example:

• find common topics of conversation with her;
• listen to her, ask questions;
• be confident in yourself;
• be original;

But it comes down to specifics: you have a date with a girl. And it is not clear how to prepare for this date? Maybe something to read, see, remember? Where to start communication? But what if suddenly there is an awkward pause in the conversation?

We men love it so much when there is a plan of action. We plan a working day, keep a calendar of meetings, write out abstracts if there is an important presentation or negotiations. But dating is somehow different. We just buy a bouquet of flowers, take the lady to an expensive restaurant and ... the result is zero. And it would be worth spending half an hour to think about what to talk about in this restaurant. The effect of such preparation is much greater.

What to talk to her about? First, I'll tell you how you have to communicate. Necessary:

a) Tell interesting stories ...

b) ... periodically asking her questions ...

c) ... in order to engage her in a dialogue ...

d)… and then just manage your conversation.

This is the formula for success. So you easily fill the painful pauses interesting stories, you switch your attention to her, asking questions, and transfer the conversation to the topics you need.

So, the first skill for successful communication is the ability to tell stories. Your preparation for a date will start with preparation. themes for these stories. Let's do a little exercise. Take paper and pencil. Write:

• 3 books that have impressed you the most recently and why;
• 3 movies that you liked the most over the last year and why;
• 3 places in the world that you remember the most and why;
• 3 interesting cases from your life in the last month (you can have situations that you observed).

Write in that order. If you don't have your favorite books, films, places and nothing interesting happens to you ... Uh ... buddy, I'm sorry, it's no wonder you don't have a girlfriend. Why does she need such a bore? What is she to do with you?

Ok, we warmed up, at the exit we got a list of topics for stories. Now you need to prepare the story itself. To do this, go back to grade 7 and remember how to write an essay. Before writing it, it is worth making a plan, highlighting introduction,the main part, climax and denouement.

A good story contains all four of these parts. Plus is full of details and emotions. Now take any topic from your list and make 4 signs:

Introduction

Main part

Climax

Interchange

Now fill in all four of these tables thesis, so that there is an outline for the story. Boring? Lazy? I know. That is why the men get off with a bouquet of flowers and an expensive restaurant. So that dinner and a "broom" brighten up the girl's unbearably boring evening.

After you've written the story in this format, try to tell it. Then the second, the third ... you will be surprised, but if you do it regularly, then very soon you will always have 5-10 great stories in stock that are relevant to any company. And on a date too.

Stories are stories, but you need to take into account a couple of important points that will help not only make the conversation interesting, but also remove the tension in communication (which is no less important than the communication itself).

That's why…

Let her reveal herself to you!

Many people are afraid to openly talk about what happened to them. Some are ashamed, while others are simply afraid that their story will not be as interesting as they would like.

Therefore, when you have a first date, the girl may be ashamed of you as much as you are of her. Moreover, education will not allow her to entertain you more than you do her. So you have to take the rap for two, trying to somehow get her to talk. :)

But you can remove this tension from her by allowing her to open up in front of you and begin to communicate more actively (she will then be grateful to you for this).

A good way to liberate a girl is to start talking about something first.... If you share with her a story from your life, then it will be easier for her to answer you in kind (here the principle of “repaying good for good” will work).

Finally, when she starts talking about something, it is advisable to ask clarifying questions that will help her tell you more details.

And sometimes you can even just emotionally ask: "Yes, okay?", "Seriously?", Showing a strong interest in her story.

Continue to use the tit-for-tat principle as you share your stories with her. This will make her more inclined to say something in return.

Take her to another reality

Sometimes you can dream! Why not?

You just need to dream correctly, involving the girl in an alternative reality.

How to do it?

It is enough just to ask her any question from the topic around which you will build your joint alternative reality. For example: " Are you jealous? Imagine that some girls would call me all the time. Would it make you angry?».

And after her answer, continue: “ Imagine, we are at home in the evening, and someone is constantly writing to me. I'm saying you don't have to worry, they're just fans, but you're still nervous. Then you go to the kitchen and start breaking the dishes. Then we put up and make love on the remains of these dishes. Then we beat the dishes together and put up again right on this dish ...».

You can use a less explicit alternate reality: “ Would you like to live on a desert island?". And after her answer: “ Imagine how you and I were running along the beach, getting food, drinking rum. I would climb palm trees to get coconuts and hunt birds. And you would roast these birds at the stake ...».

When you dream like this with her, then it binds you more than if you had 10 mediocre dates.

A couple of tips for good communication

When you communicate with her and tell any stories, then do not look at her with fear and uncertainty. Your gaze should radiate confidence that your story is the best in the world.

If you are afraid that she will not appreciate what you are telling, then this will be seen in your reaction.- you will look at her with fear, as if afraid that she will not start keeping up the conversation. Try to hide these manifestations of your behavior.

It is equally important that you sit to the side of her, not opposite. Firstly, when you are sitting opposite, there is a strong barrier between you in the form of a table. Secondly, communication with a girl implies at least some kind of touch that can be done only while sitting on the side of her.

Try to speak confidently. Especially when you take her to an alternate reality. You’ll say it anyway - so why not do it confidently right away? You start to mumble or her voice trembles - she will immediately feel that all your words are unnatural for you.

All these rules are simple and, at the same time, very effective. Especially try to pay attention to the first point of this article. After doing this at least 5 times, you will learn to communicate emotionally automatically, without even thinking about what exactly you are saying.

“I was hungry for communication - I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to resist loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy. " These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important human needs - communication.

Indeed, it is very important to speak! Everyone is so arranged. It is an indispensable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how dear he is to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, a lot of work, which is often avoided.

What obstacles can arise on the way to the art of interesting conversation or communication? How to become an interesting conversationalist?

I talked to myself. An interesting conversationalist, however.
author unknown

Barriers to Conversation

1. Shyness

One of the hardest problems on the road to communication. Shy people close themselves off to others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in which they did not really communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.

2. Self-doubt

Many people can fear looking stupid for years, or fear being hit by a shower of criticism. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.

3. An inferiority complex

This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an "incapable loser", so he prefers to suffer in silence.

There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when the other speaks, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.

How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?

Listen, be interested, be attentive

If you are at a loss as to what to say, do not despair. In fact, you know a lot more than you think.

And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or is not interested in you, analyze how much you are able to listen. You don't have to talk all the time to keep the conversation going.

Both interlocutors should speak out. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: "Take care not only of your own needs, but also of the needs of another."

For this:

• be interested in others, their state of mind. Before you talk about yourself or ask for anything, learn to ask about the interlocutor's affairs, for example: "How are you feeling?" or “Can I help you with something?”;
• pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it speaks about the feelings of the other more than his words.

A taciturn interlocutor can drive you to despair, a talkative one - to crime.
Don Aminado

But what if you are talking to someone who is not good at talking?

Give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings anyway. To do this, ask tactful questions. Suppose you are talking to an elderly person.

Ask him how the world or family life has changed since his youth. Besides the fact that you will learn a lot yourself, you will do something pleasant for the interlocutor.

How to become an interesting person and develop charisma

In society, and especially among public figures, there are very often people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance, you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. Nevertheless, from the very first minutes of acquaintance, it becomes clear that this person is an incredibly interesting person, attracting people to him with his charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that a person is very charismatic.

It is widely believed that charisma cannot be developed as a skill and that this feature character is given to people by nature. There is a certain grain of truth in this, a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, at ease and naturally, but this does not mean at all that unfortunate people who are deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetation outside the social circle.

In order to take the first step on the path to becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is stubbornly ignored by many people. It is about developing a respectful attitude towards ourselves, you need to love yourself, accept all the shortcomings and weaknesses, and then try to focus on the advantages.

You should not look for selfish motives in self-love, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself over everyone around you, it is necessary to understand that a person who is not able to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.

Only by starting to respect oneself does a person become open to accepting love from the outside.

The next step follows directly from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. It is impossible to become a charismatic person if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem stand in the way. When around a charismatic and outgoing person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed, and at ease.

A closed person, by his behavior, makes others feel uncomfortable, and as a result, they try to stop communicating with such a tight person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, and you cannot run away from yourself. It is much easier to be yourself, to stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this is a lot of work, which can only be done with a lot of effort.

As you know, any skill develops during training. It is impossible to learn how to cook well, play a musical instrument, understand technology, only on the basis of theoretical knowledge. The same goes for the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, it is necessary to communicate a lot with different people, preferably with strangers. Such training will help form the ability to quickly navigate in a conversation, and the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe friends, will be a pleasant bonus.

It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, therefore, it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. It is necessary to read a lot of literature on a variety of topics, people very subtly feel a well-read person and have respect for such a person.

Thus, we involuntarily transfer a dignified and fair attitude towards ourselves to the people around us. If the attitude is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. It is necessary to follow the golden rule and treat people as best as possible in order to get the same in return, then there will be no problems.

Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation

10 tips for becoming an interesting person and conversationalist

Pay attention to people who belong to your circle of friends. Agree that some of your acquaintances attract more attention, listen to them more, sympathize with them, while others remain unnoticed, even if they try to be in the spotlight.

Obviously, few people will be pleased with the company of a boring, constant whining, lagging behind a person's life. After all, the interlocutor in the process of communication wants not only to speak out himself, but also to gather interesting information for himself, to recharge himself with energy from a partner.

In order to please people, you yourself have to be an interesting conversationalist. Following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience accumulates, and your circle of acquaintances expands.

1. Become a good conversationalist

• Learn to listen carefully;
• Ask questions of the interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
• Express your emotions about what you hear. For example: “I am outraged by his act ...”, “how did you manage to do it…”, “it’s so wonderful that you did it…”;
• Keep the conversation going interesting facts from life, books, articles;
• No ridicule, over the feelings of the interlocutor;
• Do not teach, do not insist, but advise and recommend.

There will be something to talk about with friends.

3. Have your own passions

When you are passionate about something, your eyes are burning, you are overwhelmed with emotions, you are full of energy that is transmitted to others.

4. Experiment and share your results and experiences

It will be helpful to others, you will be grateful.

5. Don't sit at home

Attend more different events (exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet acquaintances, and possibly meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.

6. Register on social networks

Connect more people to your friends, even if you are not familiar with them, find groups of your like-minded hobbies.

Put interesting photos on your page, join discussions, express your opinion.

7. Connect with a variety of people

Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know if you are active you are interesting to other people. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, do not hesitate.

8. Be confident

Remember that you are unique with your own characteristics, with your "cockroaches in your head", and therefore are interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die of boredom.

9. Go in for sports

Yes, this is not easy, especially if you have never even done exercises before. But it is not necessary to exhaust yourself with simulators if you do not like it and cannot afford it. You can start by walking or running quickly.

People who go in for sports are always more self-confident, more energetic.

10. Watch yourself

The first thing that catches your eye is the person's appearance. Watch your clothes, shoes, hair, makeup. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress tasteless.

If you don't like today's fashion, you need to study the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.

Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, first of all, you will become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer have sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and the workload of exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.

Conclusion

Remember that no matter how difficult it is for you to communicate with others today, you can always fix it. Remember that the best stimuli for conversation are friendliness, tact and a good sense of humor.

Develop such qualities in yourself, and it will be much more interesting to communicate with you!

Each of us thinks about how to make a good impression on the interlocutors, to be remembered by them, to arouse interest in further communication. Is it possible to develop such a skill as effective communication? Yes, even at home. Many people ask a question, the interlocutor, and there is a quite clear answer to it, expressed in the form of recommendations.

Secondly, imagine that the interlocutor constantly talks about topics in which you do not understand anything at all, and they are, by and large, not interesting to you. Naturally, such a conversation will not be long, and you are unlikely to want to return to the same person. Now we project the situation onto ourselves. How to become an interesting conversationalist? Discuss topics that are familiar and close to another person, but do not neglect your own desires, otherwise you will simply become bored.

Thirdly, effective communication says that an interesting interlocutor is not distant during discussions, he reacts to what has been said (nods his head, gestures), but, most importantly, he does not look around, but at the person with whom he is communicating. This is very important, because harmless curiosity ("What is happening to my right?") Can lead to the fact that the interlocutor considers you ill-mannered, because you do not show respect and do not listen to the thought.

Next, let's look at another important aspect of how to become an interesting conversationalist. One who knows at what stage the relationship is and does not cross a certain boundary. It is not necessary to come too close to unfamiliar people and communicate with them "face to face"; it is necessary to maintain a public distance, as it is called in special literature. At the same time, you can communicate with a loved one at a social or even intimate distance.

Also important is the manner of communication, which depends on the goals of the conversation, and on the relationship between people. Let's highlight such styles as friendly communication; creative (when the interlocutors have a common goal); flirting (striving to make a good impression on the audience, and this striving is aimed at gaining false, cheap authority, not backed up by long relationships); distance and mentoring (emphasizing the difference between partners, be it the position held,

The manner of communication - mentoring - assumes that one interlocutor takes on the role of a mentor (shows the difference in experience) and considers it necessary to teach the other person something, in his opinion, correct and important.

Of course, no one likes it when teachings come into play, so this style should not be used in a distant circle, especially with unfamiliar people. It is important to choose the manner that suits the situation, the environment and is consistent with the goals. It is hardly worth arousing false sympathy from an audience that is not tuned in, for example, to accept your point of view. Public distance and a friendly but "cooler" style are fine here.

Thus, it is obvious that there is no supernatural answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist. To begin with, be attentive to those who are currently surrounding you, show emotions about the statements made and do not seek to win the interlocutor from the first second - get to know him better. Of course, it is very important to communicate more with different people, but if a person does not understand you, then why waste your energy on him.

It is much more pleasant to have conversations with friends or with those who are "on the same wavelength." You can train on them in various topics, and even if in situations with unfamiliar people everything is much more complicated, but you gain experience, thanks to which, although not immediately, the fear of saying something wrong will disappear. The most important thing is vocabulary, it must be replenished by reading books, otherwise no tricks and techniques will help you become an interesting interlocutor.